Prosecco N Prose | A Book Club

Barbara Robinson - The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

December 23, 2020 Wendy & Amy Season 2 Episode 14
Prosecco N Prose | A Book Club
Barbara Robinson - The Best Christmas Pageant Ever
Show Notes Transcript

All we want for Christmas is to join Wendy and Amy and special kid-guest Kristen from Delaware as they discuss Barbara Robinson's beloved book The Best Christmas Pageant Ever.

Wendy and Amy mix up some festive holiday prosecco cocktails, explore the magic of Christmas with the Herdmans, and then Kristen pops in to play a game and give a kid-friendly review of the novel. Pop a cork to the holidays!

Next Episode: A listener's request Flann O'Brien's The Third Policeman

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Prosecco N Prose | Episode 14 | Kid-Friendly Christmas Episode

Co-Hosts: Wendy (W) | Amy (A) | Kristen (K)

 December 23, 2020

Introduction of Bubbly, Prose, and Podcast – 00:00:00
Welcome and Christmas Cocktail discussion and tasting – 00:00:51
Author and book Information – 00:10:48
Main Character Introduction – 00:13:05
Brief Summary with Spoilers – 00:15:10

Handful of Hyperbole
1)    Big Ideas of Book (community, traditions, belonging, and empathy) 00:18:45
2)    Mini look at main characters/Voodoo Name Book – Alice – 00:22:05
3)    Introduction of Kristen from Delaware, Sparkling cider tastings, full kid interview with lots of laughs - 00:25:10
4)    Game – Would You Rather – 00:41:18
5)    Random – Kristen Rates the Novel and closes out her portion of the podcast with a Merry Christmas! – 00:50:37

Closing and Outro – 00:57:42

 

Amy (A:) Welcome to Prosecco and Prose Episode 14.

Wendy (W:)This week’s prosecco is actually two cocktails that we topped with our trusty purple bottle...you know our box store classic, Asolo.

A: This week’s prose is a Christmas classic, The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson.

* * * intro * * *

00:00:51

W: I am so excited for this holiday episode.

A: So am I! Now this episode is going to be a bit different. We have a very special guest, and we recorded it in two parts.

W: Yes, two parts, two different days … cuz normally we pop the prosecco and record in one go, but since our guest is only 7, we recorded her part with some sparkling cider a few days prior to this … 

A: … and you’re going to want to hear her tasting notes. I’m still laughing!

W: It was so funny! She has some sparkling cider skills.

A: Well, she is my niece and legend has it that she is the perfect clone of her aunt...

W: Meaning you? … 

A: Uh huh!

W: I concur. You guys are in for a real treat. Miss Kristen will join us a bit later for a tasting of two sparkling ciders, Martinelli’s Sparkling Cider and Kristian Regale apple sparkling cider. But for this part of our recording, we are going to have a couple of prosecco cocktails.

A: This could get interesting … remember what happened when we had brandy slushes for our Lululemons episode last July?

W: I recall it being a lot of fun. Those brandy slushies were delicious. I hope today’s are just as good.

A: Let’s see how it goes … 

W: Yeah … we thought it might be fun to have a couple of holiday themed drinks with our holiday story, but don’t worry, we have not strayed from our favorite bubbly prosecco. Both cocktails are topped with our always go to, Asolo prosecco.

A: This first drink is called “a Christmas cocktail.” It is from a little gift book of recipes and funny quotes called Prosecco is Always the Answer.

W: Well, it is!

A: It says this cocktail is a great way to refresh after all that Christmas food.

W: We need something like that, right? Now it is Campari and grapefruit juice, which is shaken with ice, then topped with prosecco. It has this pretty pale yellow pink color. And I’m not going to lie, as pretty as it is, I have my reservations on this one … I’m not a fan of Campari or grapefruit juice … just seems like this will be a bitter, sour drink.

A: I do like Campari and grapefruit juice together, so I’m “A Bitter” excited to taste this drink. Cheers Wendy!

W: Cheers! And here we go with the drinks again! But, it’s definitely better than I was expecting. It’s not bitter at all. I would definitely sip on this.

A: Make it a double for me… this is really good! It’s a fun Christmas cocktail. Now this second one … you actually created and from reading your scrolls, seems like you had a pretty good time experimenting. 

W: A little...I mean maybe too good of a time … I remember you and I…we were supposed to get together the next day and do some writing, remember?

A: I was so disappointed in you.

W:  I was not feeling like even getting out of bed. It was a bit of a rough morning. We did do some writing though. 

A: We did!

W: But Ruffino and I, we did have fun concocting cocktails. 

A: I was just so entertained reading your notes on your recipe concoctions … and when you noted using jalapeño [purposely mispronounced] stuffed olives for a drink that made it less sweet, actually, I think what you wrote was that it was more palatable...loved reading your misspelled scrolls. I knew there would probably be trouble the next morning. I wish I would have been a fly on that wall.

W: Palatable? I’m surprised I could think of such a word by the time we brought the jalapeños 

A: Jalapenos [purposely mispronounced]

W: ...jalapenos…out, much less try to spell it. And you know there is always an element of trial and error in these kitchen experiments, but after an evening of shaking and mixing and making a mess of my kitchen, I think we came up with something.

A: I remember your notes saying pretty (like a million times), and this drink is pretty. It’s a clear pale pink in the glass and the pomegranate seeds add a pretty pop of red. I almost feel like I need to refrain from drinking it...

W: Sober me had told you I wanted to do something with pomegranates, remember that?

A: Right.

W: I saw them all over while looking for a fun holiday drink, and I just wasn’t sure I was going to enjoy a grapefruit Campari drink for a whole podcast, 

A: Oh, I do…it’s so good

W: Yes, this one is much better than I anticipated.

A: It’s very good … but before we get to this festive cocktail, fill me in on what you found so special about pomegranates at Christmas?

W: Well in Greece, they are a symbol of Christmas. A pomegranate is hung above the front door for the 12 days of Christmas, then placed on the table at Christmas time. On New Year’s Eve, the family gathers outside and when the clock strikes midnight, they roll and smack the pomegranate on the front door. The more seeds that scatter, the luckier the new year will be.

A: Geeze … you could’ve put a few more pomegranate seeds in our glasses then. Why so chintzy on our luck?

W: Well, since we didn’t smash this pomegranate ourselves, I’m not sure the luck will translate, but I’m all for smashing the heck out of a pomegranate this new year’s if we can just have a more normal 2021.

A: Agree 100%! Now you mentioned something about Persephone and Greek mythology…

W: Yes. So, the pomegranate factors into the myth of Persephone. We talked about Persephone in Episode 5 when we discussed Lisa Jewell’s novel Then She Was Gone.

A: Oh, I remember … We talked about the poppy, right?

W: Right … quick refresher … Persephone was taken by Hades to the underworld which devastated her mother Demeter who wouldn’t let anything grow on earth. While in the underworld, Persephone ate six pomegranate seeds, and if you eat anything in the underworld, you have to stay. It was decided that since she had eaten six of the seeds, she would spend six months with Hades and the rest of the year above with her mother. The myth helped explain the seasons.

A: Hmmm...interesting. I wish I would have studied more mythology in my undergrad. That wasn’t my cup-of-tea...or should I say.... pretty glass of prosecco. 

W: Pretty! But it gave me inspiration for a name for this pretty pomegranate concoction, along with this story we are covering.

A: Tell me more, my mythological loving friend...Because I only got to sample and didn’t share in the invention of this beauty, I didn’t even get a vote in the name. So whatcha got?

W: Are you ready for this?

A: Bring it on…

W: The Spirit of Persephone.

A: Wendy... I could so see you shouting this from your fifth-floor balcony. That’s perfect...so pretty! It does really tie the spirit of our story with the pomegranates and Persephone. Naming queen right here, guys.

W: I don’t know all about that, that’s usually your lane. I was just inspired, and I can’t recall if I shared it with the world before now. Could have happened though. 

A: Sounds like a good night to me. Now what’s in it?

W: Okay … so there the pomegranate seeds in the bottom of the glass, right? Then triple sec, Pama pomegranate liqueur, and St. Germain liqueur shaken with ice, then topped off with…you know…prosecco.

A: Of course! So, I saw on the bottle, St. Germain is an elderflower liqueur … it kind of has a grapefruit-floral smell to it. Alright … time to try it out … here we go … 

W: I’m a little bit nervous! 

A: MMMMM! Oh, I love this one. Just the right amount of sweetness. Not too much, not too little. Hey good job partner. 

W: Thank you!

A: This is definitely not boring. 

W: Oh good…good…good!

A: You know I don’t do mixed drinks. 

W: I know…you like prosecco, you like wine, some bourbon…

A: I like some bourbon on ice.

W: Exactly. I’m the same way, really. 

A: Geeze…this is good. 

W: Thank you! Well, our first mix was too tart, so we added the splash of the St. Germain and that was it. We did try a couple other mixes after … 

A: … would that be the jalapeño one?

W: Maybe … but can we just leave that in the pass part of my notes …I know you thought that was kind of funny!

A: It was…okay I will let it go!

W: Thank you…but this was the winner and I’m glad you like it.

A: I really do … 

W: I feel like I could be blushing…

A: Look at you…you could be a bartender. We could head up to Arlington, VA and take that bartenders class. It’s a week long. 

W: I’m down for that. 

A: You got a $1000? 

W: Ruffino does.

A: Hmmmm

W: This podcast doesn’t yet. 

A: Hey guys, if you want to send us…ummm…to boot camp…

W: Yeah…we just need a 1000 of you to send $1 and we’ll be good to go. 

A: [laughing in hysterics]

W: 500 to send us $2. 

A: That’s right, but we’ll post pics and recipes, just in case any of you are interested in trying. I know you were a bit nervous about turning out something drinkable…

W: I was…

A: But I would say this is over-the-top drinkable, and now I understand why you were so should I say “not in the mood the day we worked from home.” So Cheers!

W: Cheers and thank you! It was definitely a lot of fun. Next time, we will mix up something together.

A: Sounds like a plan. Now, I know this is hard to believe, but I had never even heard of this book when you proposed this for our holiday episode. 

W: I couldn’t believe that honestly.

A: I just can’t believe I missed out for so long on such a great story. I actually think one of the characters IS me. But I knew as soon as I read it, I had to read it to my niece...you know my little clone! 

W: And bring her here to discuss, especially with her future you know goals and dreams. I’ve taught this a couple of times and my kids always loved it. It is such a cute and funny story.

A: I was definitely laughing through a good bit of this one … but before we go there, a bit of info on our wonderful author. 

00:10:48

W: Barbara Robinson was born and raised in Portsmouth, Ohio. She had no brothers or sisters and her father passed away when she was only three.

A: Oh wow … You would never know that she didn’t have siblings...but also so sad not to have a father.

W: Yeah … quite a thing to be faced with so young. Her mother was a teacher - she taught for 49 years and got her interested in books at a young age.

A: Man…49 years … that is some dedication. 

W: It is.

A: I would bet she used some of the stories her mother told her about the classroom as inspiration for her writing.  

W: It did … which is wonderful for all of us. She wrote short stories for McCall’s, Redbook, Ladies Home Journal … do you remember any of those?

A: Do I remember those? Are you kidding me? I was waiting at the mailbox for my mother’s monthly subscriptions. I think we used to own stock in Publishers Clearing House. I’m a huge magazine freak.

W: Same … they were always at the dentist or doctor’s office or the bank!

A: The bank??? I don’t ever think I saw a magazine at the bank. I mean I was there for the Dum Dum suckers, but I do remember seeing them at the hairdressers. 

W: Did you just say Dum Dum suckers? What was your favorite flavor?

A: O.M. Gawd … and I loved the cream soda. What was yours?

W: So, I don’t remember … probably something like strawberry … 

A: Geh! Boring!

W: But now they have a cotton candy flavor, and I love that. I actually used to buy huge bags of these and would give them to my students during reading, not every day, but like on Fridays. It really helped some kids just focus on the task at hand … and it kept the classroom very quiet.

A: Speaking of the task at hand, let's get back to Ms. Robinson.

W: Yes, Ma’am! Ms. Robinson also wrote some books on poetry and several children’s books, including two other books on the Herdmans, The Best Halloween Ever and The Best School Year Ever.

A: Of which the titles will elude us later.

W: They will. Ms. Robinson passed away July 9th, 2013 at the age of 86.

A: But her words live on. The Best Christmas Pageant Ever was first published in 1972 in McCall’s before being adapted into a book. I think we are ready for characters. Yes?

00:13:05

W: I think we need to be.

A: I think so too.

W: Beth is our narrator. She’s about 11 or 12 and has a younger brother Charlie. They go to school with the Herdmans, the worst kids in town and there are six Herdmans. SO it’s the worst kids times six: Ralph, Imogene, Leroy, Claude, Ollie, and Gladys.

A: Actually, the worst kids in the history of the world … 

W: The world! Yep!

A: As Kristen would say.

W: That was actually the alternative title. Go ahead…

A: The opening of the book tells us just how bad these kids really are …

W: It’s so good. 

A: I love this! The opening of the book says…these kids “They lied and stole and smoked cigars (even the girls) and talked dirty and hit little kids and cussed their teachers and took the name of the Lord in vain and set fire to Fred Shoemaker’s old broken-down tool house.” I mean such a great opening. I actually did all those things, except I set fire to a field with my friend Tonya...but we won’t go there. How can you just not want to read more?

W: I know! Amy you were so bad, I can’t wait to hear your fire story…

A: ...not here to incriminate myself...or Tonya, so I will tell you the story after the episode is over…but yes...I was bad, and I agree the first page sucks you in.

W: Make sure you find someone who’s got your back, guys. Alright! This story just gets better from there. We also have Grace, our narrator’s mother, and Alice, her friend. A bit of a good-two-shoes.

A: A bit? [whisper] Hey Guys…she kind of reminds me of Wendy. 

W: What?

A: Nothing...There’s also Mrs. George Armstrong, who pretty much runs everything in the town, most importantly, the production of the annual Christmas pageant, until she breaks her leg and ends up flat on her back in the hospital.

W: [whispering] Hey guys...this one reminds me of Amy!

A: I heard that! 

00:15:10

W: Getting a jump on the summary and there is no way around spoilers here. But if you do want to read, and it’s such a funny, good book, I highly suggest it, it’s very quick, maybe an hour or two, right? 

A: Or if you can get the audible … She’s really a great reader. If you need a laugh, this book will give you many. Okay … so every year the children of the town, willingly or not, participate in the Christmas Pageant. It’s not always the most exciting production … little kids are angels, bigger kids are shepherds, biggest kids are wise men, the minister’s son is Joseph, and Alice, aka Cootie girl, is Mary.

W: Until the Herdmans show up looking for the desserts Charlie told lunchbox larcenist Leroy they got to have at Sunday school.

A: Which was a bit of a stretch, but now the Herdmans. You guys will hear me often saying Herdsman later on...I’ve been corrected, so apologies ahead of time. But again, the Herdmans are here…and just in time for the casting of the Christmas pageant.

W: Now, with Mrs. George Armstrong laid up in the hospital, the task of putting on the Christmas pageant has landed in Grace’s lap, our narrator’s mother, who has not anticipated the Herdmans’ debut.

A: After Imogene finds out exactly what a pageant is, she declares herself for the part of Mary; Ralph for the part of Joseph; Leroy, Claude, and Ollie as the three Wise Men; and Gladys as the Angel of the Lord.

W: Yes, and knowing what will be in store for them if they protest, the rest of the children remain tight lipped.

A: Well, Sunday school had been a place to get away from the Herdmans, from their teasing, stealing, and general abuse at school, but now the Herdmans are not only stealing from the collection plate, they are stealing the pageant.

W: And the ladies of the town are quite put out with Grace.

A: Well, how could she have let this happen? Mrs. George Armstrong would have never stood for such a thing happening. Not on her watch. There is talk the pageant should just be cancelled.

W: Which really ruffles Grace’s feathers and she pledges it will be the very best Christmas pageant ever.

A: Ever! So, rehearsals get started, but first the Herdmans need to learn the Christmas story and in one of the funniest chapters in the book, Grace proceeds to tell them.

W: Oh, my goodness…I had to read that out to Ruffino and I could barely do it. Very funny … and I think Imogene had some very valid points.

A: 100% agree. Now back to our story … rehearsals progress, though not without the church nearly being burnt down, 

W: It’s the Herdmans…

A: …and finally it’s the night of the pageant.

W: Naturally, the church is packed … who’s going to miss the Herdmans? Absolutely anything could happen. And they never even had a full start to finish rehearsal you know…on account of the fire.

A: Right … poor Grace … the church is filling up, some of the Herdmans are missing … definitely off to a rocky start.

W: But then, just like the magic of Christmas, little actors find their marks and the Herdmans help everyone find the true meaning in the Christmas story.

A: And just like Grace promised, it was truly the best Christmas pageant ever.

W: Such a great story. I mean really! It’s one of those that just makes you feel good.

A: I definitely feel the spirit of Christmas!

W: Are you sure it’s not the spirit of Persephone?

A: Well, maybe … 

00:18:45

W: Moving on … now, since this is a kid’s book, we aren’t going to go big into themes and symbols and all that. But we would like to have a bit of a discussion on what the big idea is, which is wording I like to use when introducing this idea of themes to kids.

A: We found four: community, traditions, belonging, and of course empathy. Tradition is really the root of this story. Every year, the town puts on the Christmas pageant.

W: Every year the same kids play the same roles. Same costumes … nothing really changes. It’s tradition.

A: … even our narrator says it’s not overly exciting, but no one even knows why it’s done, the pageant that is. It’s just what they do every year.

W: It is. This is the Christmas story, and they know it by heart, but they don’t truly understand the meaning of it. 

A: Right … it isn’t until the Herdmans come in and bulldoze themselves into the key roles that everyone finally understands the meaning behind the tradition.

W: And the Herdmans were really the most moved.

A: They were … I suppose one could say Imogene was a little high-handed… 

W: A tad

A: …when she threatened Alice over the role of Mary …Let me share my favorite passage from my favorite character, Imogene … she threatens Alice by saying … “And next spring, when the pussy willows come out, I’ll stick a pussy willow so far down your ear that nobody can reach it—and it’ll sprout there, and it'll grow and grow, and you'll spend the rest of your life with a pussy-willow bush growing out of your ear.” 

W: And poor, poor Alice. 

A: I read that thing like ten times…I was just laughing hysterically. 

W: This whole book is incredible… and they all knew it could happen because Ollie had been taken to the hospital and put under to dig a sprouted pussy willow out of his ear. But everyone had to agree, Imogene was the perfect Mary.

A: Well, her emotion when she held the baby Jesus in her arms, was just so heartfelt … you could only imagine how the real Mary must have felt so long ago. The Herdmans brought the pageant, you know the Christmas story, to life.

W: The Herdmans learn the message of the holidays, and so did everyone else.

A: Yes. Exactly true! You mentioned when we were discussing my reading of this with my niece how your students picked up on the ideas of belonging and empathy, or understanding.

W: Right … obviously the Herdmans don’t belong and maybe one could argue that they don’t try to … 

A: … maybe the town doesn’t try to either … I mean, they are dirty, they’re bad, live above an abandoned garage … it’s a metaphor for their general abandonment.

W: It is … but I always loved that my students could come back with that people just didn’t understand them, and I think you said Kristen picked up on this as well … 

A: She did … Her insight was that they didn’t have their parents to help teach them. I mean so really how could they know?

W: Exactly … but understanding that other people have circumstances that are different from our own and how that doesn’t make them bad or good, but that simply understanding makes us all a little bit better.

A: And the whole community, Herdmans included, came away with a better understanding and acceptance of each other.

W: It’s just a good message, no matter what time of the year you read this book. Tell us what you found on names, I know you did it a little differently this time, Amy.

A: … since this is such a familiar book, and many people have seen the movie as well, we thought it might be fun to very, very briefly find the meaning behind each of the main character’s names.

W: We figured most people are pretty familiar with the characters, so it might be fun to just see how fitting each name is to each character. I tell you; this part never gets old to me.

A: Me neither! It’s always really enlightening. And it adds another dimension to the character for me. We’d love to hear your feedback on what you guys think … hit us up on any of our social media. 

00:22:05

W: Please do. Alright, Amy, what did you find?

A: So, unfortunately, none of the Herdmans were actually in the Voodoo Name book, 

W: What?

A: I know…I know…So I went to the trusty Googlewebs and here’s what I found… Imogene means...get this...maiden … 

W: … fitting for her as a young unmarried girl, interesting to think of her in the role of Mary.

A: I kind of think of a maiden as a sort of quiet, a demure girl, and I would not say that is our Imogene.

W: I agree. No, not so much!

A: Now Ralph…Ralph means wolf counsel … and he is the leader and counsel of the Herdman family.

W: Agree … Leroy?

A: Leroy means the king.

W: Well, he played a leader, as one of the Wise Men. 

A: Too bad they didn’t cast ole King Herod. 

W: They sure wanted to, didn’t they?

A: But I bet Leroy was king of the playground at school … though probably not a kind king. Gladys and Claude both meant lame, and I couldn’t really make a connection because I think of lame as being crippled or weak.

W: But emotionally, ummmm…if we want to go there, I think they have been crippled in a sense, and cast aside by the community. Crippled in not really given a chance, if that makes sense.

A: Oh yeah...yeah it does … Poor kids … finally, Ollie means olive tree.

W: Hmmm … and the olive tree is a symbol of peace and wisdom, not sure any of the Herdmans brought peace or wisdom.

A: They did though when they performed the Christmas pageant, right?

W: Oh … yeah very true, they did. 

A: And you know I had to do Alice … since we joked about how much that character resembled you …you know her name was in the Voodoo Name book!

W: Great did you find out Alices are bossy notetaking tattle-talers.

A: [laugh] Well, not exactly … Alice is likely to be religious...you know…in a traditional sense, churchgoing unassuming...moral.

W: Unassuming is not a quality I would attribute to our Alice … sneaky, maybe.

A: Well, hold on now! … Alice isn’t preachy or trying to convert others, she’s more likely to do volunteer work, which produces what is in Hebrew as the “storehouse.” Alice is storing something for later.

W: I think it was intended as a storing up of good … not the notebook of tattles Alice was compiling.

A: Probably not, but it’s an interesting note. 

W: It is. I think this is a good time to transition to our guest portion.

A: Good idea. Like we said earlier, we have a little holiday treat for you.

W: ...our special guest, Kristen from Delaware, is here with us today, recorded from the past, for a kid-friendly tasting and discussion of this week’s novel. 

A: A tasting of ciders of course, not these cocktails. I know I’ve been trouble in the past, and I don’t need my sister questioning whether she can send my nieces for a future weekend visit.

W: Yes, no spirit of Persephone for this part … so welcome Kristen from Delaware...

00:25:10

Kristen (K:) Hi guys…thanks for having me guys! 

W:/A: Thanks for joining us!

A: So, Kristen...What is the first sparkling bubbly we are going to try today? 

K: I want to do this one.

W: And that is the Martinelli’s Sparkling Cider

A: Sparkling cider...so if you hear a bunch of rustling around, we’ve got a child in here that is very wiggly.

W: [laughing] It’s…

 A: The acoustics might not be all that great today, but it’s Christmas and who cares.

 W: It’s Christmas...and we have Kristen!

 A: Kristen for Christmas, right?

K: Yeah! 

W: Isn’t that what you said? 

 K: Yeah!

 A: Okay so, let’s take a look at our sparkling... What color does it look like?

 K: It’s kind of like gold!

 W: Ohhhhh!

 A: Ohhhhhh! It is very golden.

W: It is very gold...gold for Christmas...

K: Like Christmas....Christmas gold!

A: Christmas gold

W: Exactly.

 K: Cuz yellow is kind of like gold. 

 A: This is a very sparkly gold, isn’t it? 

W: It is gold. And maybe even the bubbles make it look sparklier. 

 A: Like little stars, shining in my…

W: ...gold glass!

A: Gold Glass!

W: All right! 

 A: Let 's smell it! 

W: So, smell it. What’s it smell like to you? 

K: It smells like apples.

 W: It does smell like apples.  It smells like apple cider. 

A: Like a regular prosecco. Very apple.

W: Ummm hmmmm!

 A: Either we're getting good or it’s very appley.

K: [Laughs]

 W: It’s very appley. All right, so here’s the most important part. You have to taste it and tell everybody what you think. 

 A: Don’t guzzle it; just take a little sip.

 W: Just sip it like you're very posh!

 K: [Sound effects of smacking a good tipple]

 W: [laughing] Love the sound effects; so what do you think?

 A: What does that taste like? 

 K: It’s like...it made my tongue...dlthdlthdlththththththhthth

 W: Ohhhh! Like the fizz is on your tongue? What do you call those fizzes?

 K: Splllllillllillllillll...sss

 A: Spllllillllillllillll...zzzz

W: That’s a good word for it actually. That’s a great word. 

A: [laughing]

 W: It tastes just like apple cider. It’s good through.

A: It does and it’s bubbly. What do we call the bubbles in here? 

 K: Perlage

 A: Ohhhh! You are good! Cheers

 All: Cheers! 

 W: Actually, that’s fun! 

 A: Yeah! It’s beautiful to look at!

 W: It’s really pretty! I think what you said, Kristen is...it’s perfectly gold. It’s a little sweet.

 A: It’s a little sweet for my taste. Do you like it?

 K: I like it. But I would prefer sour stuff. 

 W: Oh...do you think we should try the second one? So, we have the second one and it is actually Kristen...let me see the label...let me see the label so we can tell everyone. Kristian Regale

K: It’s kind of like gold. But when it first starts it kind of like gray. Gray-yellow

W: Ohhhh! Gray yellow...Because it might help you...if we hold up the book...what do you think...if we hold up the white behind it. What do you think:

 K: Ahhhhh! It actually looks gray-yellow. 

W: Does it? Oh I kind of agree with her; it's a gray yellow. All right...ohhhh, it smells different, too. What do you think Kristen?

K: I really don’t like the smell.

 W: Yeah!

 A: Let me smell it too.

 K: It smells like socks!

 W: [hysterically laughing] You know what?

 A: [chuckling]

 W: ...That’s awesome! Not that it smells like socks, but that it’s a perfect description. 

 A: Especially from a kid. 

 W: Yes. I am kind of afraid to taste it now because…

 K: I don’t want to taste….

 A: Oh, it’s not bad. It doesn’t taste like it smells. 

 K: [Sound effects of smacking lips]

 A: What does that taste like Kristen?

 K: Blahhhhhachhhhhhhh!!!!! 

 A: [chuckling]

 W: [Laughing] I don’t think it tastes like socks but the other one was sweeter. 

 A: So, which one do you like Kristen? Do you like the first one...?

 W: Or the second!

 K: I would expect one named after me to be “more tastier.” I guess that I’m not tasty. 

 W: [laughing] Well maybe that one isn’t.

 A: So, you don’t like the Kristian one? The second one? So, would you like me to pour out your glass and give you a drink of the other one? 

 K: Yes!

 A: So that is the one you would like to sip on while we play? 

K: Yeah, cuz this one does not taste as good.

 W: It’s different. It’s a different flavor...it’s odd. 

 A: But it DOES smell like socks. She could be a sommelier. I mean she does have it going on. 

 W: Exactly. If we would have tried this one first, it probably would have been okay. But the first one was so sweet so this one tastes…

 A: If you hear chewing in the background, we have got peanut butter M&M’s.  They are Wendy’s favorite. 

 K: I am eating them because I don’t like the drink.

 W: You're trying to cover up the taste of the other one. It might make it taste better. Do you think we should swap labels? It might make it taste better. 

 K: Ummmm hmmmm...much tastier. 

 W: Much tastier. 

K: Ummmm Hummmm!

W: She knows her stuff. 

 A: I think she made a good decision. So, I will leave the sparkling cider for you my dear. But I am going to drink the Kristian. 

W: I’ll drink some Kristian too. But I might have cider too. 

A: I might have some of the real stuff depending on how this goes today. 

A/W: [both laughing

A: Okay, so….

 W: So, Kristen since we’re doing this and it’s normally just your aunt and I, nobody knows who you are, right?

K: Yeah!

W: So how about you...if you were coming onto the news, what would you tell people?

K: My name is Kristen.

 W: Okay...how old are you, Kristen?

K: Seven

W: What grade are you in?

 K: Second!

 W: Ahhhh…. second grade! Second grade, okay. Tell us something that’s very interesting about yourself. Do you have something interesting...like something cool you did over the summer? Or....

 K: Oh yes...I can make my eyes go… [overly crossing her eyes] ...my eyes go really weird. 

A: Oh! That hurts!

 W: Ummm! She can make her eyes go really cross-eyed!

 K: And I can see underwater. 

W: Can you see underwater when your eyes are crossed? 

 K: Yes!

 W: I think that is definitely a special skill. So, Kristen...you were telling us earlier...tell everyone that is listening what you want to be when you grow up. 

 K: Okay. This is actually super easy to tell. Everybody, I really want to be a newscaster. 

 W: A newscaster!

 A: Wow!

 W: What kind of newscaster? Like do you want to tell about the news? Do you want to tell about sports? Do you want to tell about people in Hollywood? 

 A: Fashion?  

 W: Oh fashion! 

A: Fashion!

K: I want to talk about the weather. Whatever I wear, I really don’t care, except if I have to wear a dress. 

 W: You don’t want to wear a dress?

 K: Uh-uh! Dresses are “more harder” to walk in if they are long. 

W: Maybe you could wear a “not-so-long-dress.”

 A: Well Aunt Amy loves miniskirts. The shorter the better. 

 W: I bet she does!

K: The shorter is not the better.

 W: [laughing]

 A: [laughing]

W: I think she told you!

 K: It’s just feels like your butt is showing out. 

A: Oh well...

 W: Well

 A: Like I said, the shorter the better. 

W: So, let’s not hang out with her when she is wearing a super short one. All right? So she doesn’t embarrass us. 

K: [while drinking] Um-hum! 

W: You must like that. Is it good? Does it go good with the peanut butter M&M’s? 

 K: Wait. Let me see.

 W: Cuz you have to pair it with something. 

 A: [laughing] The sound effects are delicious. 

W: I know. 

 A: Listeners don’t like sound effects; that’s what I’ve been told.  

 W: Oh really? 

 A: Uh-huh!

 W: Well, that’s a shame. What do you think?

 K: I like it. 

 A: Tell the listeners some of your other hobbies. What do you do in your off time? 

 K: Sometimes I do pilano (piano) lessons. 

W: You do piano lessons?

 K: Uh-hum! 

 W: Awwww

 K: One time I did “What Does the Fox Say.” [singing] What did the fox say...ding-ding-ding-di-ding-di-di-di-di-di di.

 W: You did that on the piano? 

 K:  Uh-hum. 

 W: [laughing]

 A: She also knows how to sail. 

 W: You know how to sail?

 K: Yep, all by myself. 

 W: Like on a real sailboat. 

 K: Uh-hmm. My dad has a boat but we had to take away the camper to be able to have the boat. 

 A: You had to trade in one to get the other one. 

 W: My husband used to teach sailing lessons. That’s what he used to do when he was a lot younger. Maybe you could take him sailing. He would be pretty delighted. 

 K: But my daddy has to get me somewhere like right next the boat that is going back.

W: Why?

 K: So, then I know where I am going so, I follow the boat. 

 W:  What is the hardest thing about sailing because it seems like you have to do a lot of stuff to be a sailor. 

K: Oh!

W: Like you have to pull on the sails and steer. 

K: So...at least we have enough people on the boat to steer. I have my sister. I have my mother. And my dad. And sometimes you can go into the front when it’s not too crazy.

W: What do you mean like when it’s too windy?

K: So, if there are boats that are like super-fast you like have to go to the back. If you’re in the front and it’s sailing nice and it’s sunny, you can sit down.

W: Right!

 K:  And also, if it’s hot...you can do that!

W: And there is space at the front of your boat for you to do that?

A: Oh yeah! They have like a whole apartment downstairs in their boat. 

W: Uhmmmm...I am going to like come and visit you next summer, and you are going to take me sailing. 

K: [Giggle, giggle]

A: So, tell us about your friend Nahla. 

 K: Okay...that’s super easy, too. So, about my friend Nahla. She has curly hair; sometimes her hair is flattened. Her mom doesn’t do her hair to get flattened. She has to go to a salon to get her hair flattened. So yeah!

 W: Oh. 

A: What kind of things do you do with Nahla?

K: Well, every time we go Facetime, we mostly go to Roadblocks to play cuz that’s the only thing we can play to see each other. 

W: You can see each other when you are playing the game as well?

 K: Yeah.  It doesn’t show your real face...it just

W: ...it just shows you that you are on and that your friend is on? 

K: Her user name is Nahnah and mine is Woofie. 

W: Woofie?

K: Yeah. But I’m not telling the numbers. 

W: Oh, that’s a secret?

 K: That’s our user name. So, we have very much fun being together.  And there is a new update where there is Christmas stuff.

W: Oh cool!

K: Yeah, there’s this coffee shop where all the Christmas...And then there’s this big tree where you have to put a lot of like Christmas…

 W: Like decorations. 

K: Yeah, and then like Santa will come and then you can hog all the presents and like get all the presents you ever wanted. 

 W: When Santa comes?

 K: Um-hmmmm. 

A: Well, speaking of Santa, what do you want from Santa this year? 

K: [whispering] Oh yes. I want a Blue suitcase with a blue bag that has a K on the front. 

W: Why blue? Is that your favorite color? 

K: Yep. Like a light blue. And my suitcase has the same thing like a K on the front. 

W: Everybody will know it’s yours. Like a big giant K on the front? You could probably get a blue suitcase and design your own K and paint it on, which would be kind of cool.

 A: So, do you want a hard suitcase or a soft suitcase? 

K: A hard suitcase. 

W: Most definitely.

A: With a heavy-duty zipper.  

W: You definitely have to have one of those. Is Nahla in your class? How did you meet her? Are you in school together? 

 K: Well, we were in preschool, so I think about that time we were four or five. We met each other. And she is very popular in school. She is very smart.  

W: Well, you must be very smart to have friends so smart.

 A: She’s part of the in-crowd.

W: Clearly part of the...  

A: We wouldn’t know anything about that, would we? 

 W: No! Is she shy?

K: Ah No! Actually, she’s not! And if there are people being mean she will say “You’re not my mama!”

 W: Oh well!

 A: Oh well! Well hello Nahla!

W: I mean; I suppose! Do you have pets?

K: Yes, we only have one pet, but we used to have a pet...but I was a baby, so I don’t miss her that much…

W: Oh, so you didn’t get to know her that much? What kind of pet do you have? 

K: So, do you want to hear about the one that was super old and is gone? 

W: Sure, can I hear about the one you have now, too? 

K: Okay, so the first one was Jackie. She was black; she has ears that go down. 

W: Is it a dog? 

K: Uh hum! 

W: Okay

K: And... She was a puppy that time, so Kate had her for a long time. And when I was born, I didn’t really know her that much. But Jackie was always helpful, and mommy told me about this one... she was working on the computer and Jackie was always under her...and then one time she carefully came down and she realized that Jackie was gone.

W: What happened?

K: [Kristen played dead]

W: [Wendy gasps] Was she very old?

A: Yeah, she passed away. They had to put her down because she was really sick. They let her live through one more summer right before they put her down. What did she love outside? What plant did she love? 

K: Potatoes????? 

A: Tomatoes! Jackie loved tomatoes. 

W: She would eat tomatoes? 

A: So, they let her live through the summer before they put her down, so she could enjoy the tomato plants one more year. 

W: Awwww.... Did she eat the tomatoes? That is crazy!

A: Yeah. She was a sweet dog. She was a black lab.  

W: Oh! 

A: Now she has a like...what kind of...? It’s like a mix. 

K: Yeah! It’s definitely a mix with a kind of cat!  

A: Well, it’s not a cat. It’s a German Shepherd but it’s...

K: Yeah! 

W: It’s shaggy? Has lots of hair? 

K: Yeah. Her name is Shiloh; she’s a medium.  

W: Oh, that’s a good name. I like that.  

K: She has black on the top. On the bottom it’s tan.  

W: Uh huh! 

K: She has brown eyes just like my sister. And she loves people, but not dogs.  

W: She doesn’t like other dogs? 

K: She only likes little kids or grown-ups. 

W: That’s it? 

K: Yeah!

A: Well, when I was there visiting, they have this horrific leash. I had to jerry-rig it around her because I didn’t know how to work the leash. It has all these buckles, bells and whistles… 

W: So, it’s almost like a vest or something?

A: Yeah, so I mean I had it all crisscrossed because I was afraid she was going to get…

W: [Laughing] escape?

A: …away from me, but I didn’t put it together correctly. It was horrible. I think I was choking her when I was walking her. 

W: Oh no! 

A: So we had to turn around…I just couldn’t… 

W: You just felt too bad. 

A: I couldn’t stand it.  

K: Dad was definitely...it’s like he thinks it’s easy. Mommy thinks...this is so difficult. How can you even think? It’s so hard...how can you even put this on?  

A: And that sounds just like your mom. You know your mom is older than I am.  

K: No, she’s younger.  

A: Why do you say that? 

K: [Giggling] Because you’re the older sister. Isn’t the older sister the better one?  

A: Oh! 

W: Oh, Well!!!!! Yes, that is true. 

K: Cuz you can say that I am the older one, so I can have the remote.  

W: Oh well...she has a point.  

A: Okay...I’ll own it!  

W: [laughing] I’m the older sister though… 

A: [laughing]  

K: And you can get it up on something so tall that she can’t even reach it.  

W: Is your mom short? 

K: No! 

A: She’s taller than I am. I am the runt of the family.  

W: Same. Just because you’re the oldest doesn’t mean you get to be the tallest.  

A: I’m the orneriest.   

W: Do you know what that means?  

K: [whispers] I don’t think so.  

W: It means she’s like the meanest kind of.  

A: I’m the naughtiest one. 

W: Yeah, the naughtiest one. The one who causes the trouble.  

A: I am like one of the Herdmans.  

W: Which Herdman is she like:

 K: Imogene!  

W: [laughing hysterically

A: [laughing]  

K: And I’m like Gladys. 

W: You're like Gladys?  

K: Yeah! 

W: You think you’re like Gladys, huh? 

A: Which one was your favorite, Ms. Wendy? 

W: Well, I liked the narrator, but I’m definitely like Alice...when she was running around talking notes of everyone being bad. That would so be me. 

A: Tattle-telling. I bet you were a big tattle-tale. 

W: Anyways...I think we should move onto a game or something.  

A: I do too.  

W: I probably did tattle. That’s why when I am teaching, I have the most tattle tales in my class. I think you kind of reap what you sow for sure and so I get the...I’ve had so many. 

A: I’m the one stirring the pot in class when the teacher is not looking. 

W: I don’t mind the pot-stirrers. It actually doesn't bother me.  

K: Do the kids like lie to you? 

W: Some do.   

K: Well then, they’re naughty.   

W: Well, that is kind of naughty, but sometimes they are afraid that they are going to get into trouble. It’s just kids.  

K: I know! 

W: Do you think they’re being bad when they do that?  

A: I think all kids tell white lies once in a while. 

K: Yeah! 

A: I used to lie to my mom and dad.  I would. So, when they used to have me practice my violin. I taped myself playing the same song. I would hit play when I went upstairs.  I would play the same song over and over and over.  

K: Just like Adrian! 

A: And my mom thought that girl is not getting any better.  

W: [laughing] and you were like I’m not actually.  

A: I’m not. But we probably need to move on… 

00:41:18

 W: Alright! So, we’re going to play a game.  

A: Okay 

W: This is a really fun game. And Kristen told me she already knows about this game. It’s called Would You Rather...It could be like a Herdman style Would You Rather, so...And you have to make a choice.  

A: Okay 

W: [Wendy to Kristen] Alright, so do you want to start? Or do you want Aunt Amy to start? Or do you want me to start? 

A: Do you want to pick the first one?  

K: I want to pick the first one.  

W: You want to pick the first one? So, who do you want to ask it to?  

K: Hmmmmm…Aunt Amy!  

W: Okay, so we will go this way! 

K: Would you rather go to the Christmas pageant, or go to the movies? 

A: I think I would like to go to the Christmas pageant.  

K: To watch them make fools of themselves?  

A: Well...if you are talking about the story, I think most of the people went to the Christmas pageant to see if the Herdmans were going to make fools of themselves, wouldn’t you think? 

K: Yeah! 

W: Do you think that is why they all went?  

A: Okay if it were the movies, I would go to the movies if it was a Matthew McConaughey movie. But for these purposes, I think I would go to the Christmas pageant because I would want to see the Herdman’s act a fool.  

W: Good One! 

A: Good One! Wendy this one is for you.  

W: Okay 

A: Would you rather … be in the broken-down tool house while the Herdmans experimented with the “Young Einstein” chemistry set, or be in the store on the day the Herdmans stole the chemistry set? 

W: Oh, I’d rather be in the store.  

A: Why? 

W: Because the place burned down. Kristen which one would you rather do? 

K: The store because I do not want to be in the fire.  

W: Exactly. You’d be one of the Herdmans in the… 

A:  I would be in the toolshed setting the fire.  

W: That’s true, right? Are you ready? 

A: She’s shaking her head yes. 

W: Would you rather invite the Herdmans over to your home for Christmas dinner, or spend Christmas Day at the Herdman’s home? 

K: I would rather go to their home because my house is already trashed up. So they could trash it up even more. 

 W: Really? You think your mom would like that? 

K: No! 

A: Do you think your mom would like you to tell people that? 

K: No [laughing

W: [laughing] That’s okay. It’s too late. Okay Kristen your turn! 

K: Would you rather spend one day living with Alice Wendleken for $1000, or spend one day living in the Herdman’s house for $1,000,000? 

A: Well, I’m going to live with the Herdmans because I would do about anything for a million dollars.  

K: I probably would live with the Herdmans and try to match them, so I pretend… 

A: So, you would pretend to act like the Herdmans… 

W: So, you would be like...then they wouldn't get her so she would be just like fighting in.   

A: So, I could take that money and give half of it to Kristen and then I would give another portion of it to the Herdmans… 

W: And the rest to our podcast. 

A: For better prosecco… 

K: Yeah...get the money so I could get more like supplies and other stuff for the Herdmans… 

A: Like what kind of supplies? 

K: Cleaning supplies and they’re going to clean up no matter what or I am going to make them. 

W: You’re going to crack the whip? 

K: Yeah. I’m going to make them.  

W: I bet she could. I bet you could. So what’s next.  

K: They’re going to the police.  

W: I thought they already had gone.  

A: Okay Ms. Wendy...Would you rather be Imogene or Alice? 

W: Well, I’d rather be Alice. I don’t think I could be Imogene. 

A: Why? 

W: She’s too dirty. I cannot stand. 

A: I am Imogene though…

 W: I know...Well I could...well actually I couldn’t fill your shoes...it’s funny because Ruffino and I were actually talking about doing a tough mudder and I said there is no way that I would purposely get dirty. That’s too disgusting. 

 K: I would probably do it. Anything for one million dollars.  

W: Would you rather be Imogene or Alice? 

K: Imogene! 

W: Why? 

K: If I had to be dirty, I would do it for the money.  

W: Well hopefully get some...so...Would you rather be Miss Graebner, the librarian, or be Reverend Hopkins? 

K: I’ll do the librarian.  

W: I’d like to be the librarian.  

A: I would love to be the librarian. We all love to read. Okay Kristen, you’re turn.  

K: Okay...Would you rather be Alberta Bottles whistling “What Child Is This?” or be Grady Baker being offered 50 cents to be Joseph in the Christmas pageant? 

W: Hmmmmm! 

A: Hmmmmmm! 

W: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  

A: I think I want to be Alberta Bottles [starts whistling obnoxiously]  

K: I can’t whistle. 

A: I can’t either, let’s move on; we’ve got to keep going. 

W: Whistling is the...is my biggest pet peeve. O.M.Gosh… 

A: [Amy starts obnoxiously whistling again

W: I will lose my mind in the classroom if a kid starts whistling.  

K: Me too! 

A: Okay Ms. Wendy...Would you rather be Reverend Hopkins walking around in your pajamas, or be Mrs. Homer McCarthy explaining to the firemen that you called them because you smelled Imogene’s cigar smoke? 

W: [laughing] Well I’ve spent the last nine months in pajamas...what was the next one?  

A: ... the fireman because you smelled Imogene’s cigar smoke.  

W: I’m going in my pajamas. What are you doing? Are you going to be in pajamas or call about cigar smoke?  

K: I would rather be in comfy clothing, so pajamas. 

A:  Well, I’d rather call about the cigar smoke because I would probably be the one smoking the cigar in the bathroom.  

W: You...you…[laughing

A: I’ve smoked cigars before…cigars...cigarettes... 

W: Hey...Imogene...alright...this is a big one...this is a long one...you ready Kristen? 

K: Uh huh!  

W: Would you rather be the Hazelbecks living next door to the Herdmans for your entire life, or be the teacher, Miss Brandel, having each Herdman in your class for a year each? 

K: Year each! 

W: You’d rather be the teacher?  

K: Uh huh! 

W: Actually, I would too. How about you?  

A: I would like to have the Herdmans in my class because life is just interesting when you have naughty kids. 

W: It is...and actually they tend to be really fun.   

A: Oh, they are...and usually they are not all that naughty...I mean there are reasons for their naughtiness. 

W: Right. 

A: Okay we will do a couple more.  

K: Would you rather organize the Christmas pageant, or organize the pot-luck committee? 

A: Well, it was almost exhausting at times reading the Christmas pageant knowing what the narrator’s mom was going through, so I’m good with food and organizing parties… 

W: You are! 

A: So, I think I’m going with the potluck. What would you do? 

W:  So, I have done little plays in my classroom. It’s actually quite magical when it comes together. So, I would do the play. What would you do? 

A: What would you do Kristen? 

K: I would do the Christmas pageant.   

W: It’s fun...even if you want to tear your hair out.  

A: Two against one...I’ll just make everybody’s food.  

W: She’s going to make snacks for us...that’s good, right? 

K:  Yeah! 

A: Okay, my turn. We’ll each do one more and then call it. So Wendy...Would you rather see Imogene cry because she caught the spirit of Christmas, or take the Herdmans Christmas presents? 

W: Oh ummm...I’d rather give them presents. I understand the spirit, but I think I’d rather give them presents.  

A: What about you Kristen?  

K: Presents! 

W: What about you? 

A: I think I would want to bring the Herdmans presents. I mean we saw Imogen crying in the movie, correct? 

K: Ummmhmmmm! 

A: And it was a very moving experience… 

W: It was… 

A: We like things. 

W: Alright, are you ready? 

K: Uh huh! 

W: Would you rather be Floyd Brush giving Imogene 10 cents a week, or be Alice Wendleken being called Cooties after you catch head lice? 

K: I want to be called Cooties 

A: That is Alice right there [pointing at Wendy

K: Cootie girl!  

W: I feel a little itchy...what about you? 

A: Well, I would be giving Imogene 10 cents a week because then I would be bribing her back… 

W: Oh… 

A: ...with interest… 

W: [laughing] You probably would… 

A: [laughing] I'm the master manipulator. Okay Kristen, here’s the last one. We are going to finish up after this. You are asking me this question and then we’ll all answer it.  

K: Would you rather be Mrs. George (Helen) Armstrong, or be Mother, Grace Bradley? 

A: That’s the narrator’s mom, remember?  

W: So, Mrs. George Armstrong is the one who got broken, right? 

A: Yes, she was the one was talking on the phone. She was gossiping.  

W: So, do you want to be her or do you want to be the mom and do the pageant. Is that the question? 

K: I would do the last one.  

W: The second one?  

K: Yeah! 

A: So, I would love to be Mrs. George Helen Armstrong… 

W: [bursts out laughing

A: Because I would definitely by lying in bed in the hospital...toting orders 

W: Bossing people around… 

A: Bossing people around...will you rub my back...will you itch my foot. Yeah...Bring me more prosecco… 

W: Or cider 

K: Yeah! 

A: Call the minister...I need another prayer. So, Kristen...what did you think of that game?  

K: It was fun! Everybody, it was so fun. 

A: Are you going to be a newscaster when you grow up? Have you decided yet? 

W: Maybe she’s going to be a podcaster.  

A: Maybe a podcaster.  

K: Oh, I love podcasters. I might do the podcasters.  

W: You might. 

A: Yeah! We might have to add you all the time.  

W: So... Kristen… 

K: Hmmm? 

00:50:37 

W: You just can’t play a game about a book. You have to tell people what you think about it. So when people read books and they’re going to tell their friends about it, they can give it five stars meaning it’s the best book they ever read, or they can give it one star...it’s not really that good. If it’s in the middle, you can give it a 2, 3, or 4. So how many stars would you give The Best Christmas Pageant Ever?  

K: I would give it a five! 

W: A five...you thought it was really good? So you would tell your friends to read it?  

K: Yes...I would make them read it.  

W: You would make them read it?  

K: Yeah!  

W: Would you tell Nahla...have you told Nahla she needs to read?  

K: I did tell her.  

W: You did tell her? 

K: That you need to read the Herdmans...and to your mother because it’s really nice. And the Herdmans are like the best book ever that they made.  

W: Do you know that they have other books about the Herdmans?  

K: Well okay then...well maybe… 

A: I did not know this.  

W: They do...they have a Halloween one.  

K: [gasps in happiness]  

W: Like the Best Halloween Ever.  

K: Oh, can we do The Best Halloween Ever? 

A: Next year.  

W: Do you want to do it next year for Halloween? 

K: Yeah! 

A: That would be fun. So, you think they should read it because it’s the best ...why is it the best? 

K: It’s because I love the ending. It makes me so happy and it’s so funny.  

W: It makes you feel good, right? 

A: Yeah...but what made you happy about the ending?  

K: Ummm...that somebody realized... that it was...Imogene...and she realized that it was just more than Christmas. 

W: She did realize that, didn’t she? Right. So do you think the Herdmans were all that bad?  

K: I don’t think so...they were bad, but not too bad. 

W: Right. They are just kids.  

A: They just didn’t have any guidance at home. Their mom… 

W: Their mom was really busy. She was working a lot.  

A:  Two shifts… 

K: At Least she came to see her own kids. 

W: That’s true.  

A: Oh, at the play...the mom came to watch.  

W: Oh, I missed that part.  

A: And no one even new.  

W: I know you told us before...but I can’t remember. Who was your favorite character?  

K: Gladys 

W: Wasn’t Gladys really naughty? Didn’t she come in running? What did Gladys do in the play? 

K: She was coming in running saying “Go on, Go on!” 

W: Oh that’s…she pushed all the shepherds [laughing

K: Yes...that is why it’s my favorite part.   

W: That was your favorite part in the movie. Was that your favorite part in the book? 

K: Uh hum! 

W: It’s a good book, right?  You’ll have to read the other ones. I can’t remember what the third one is called. But there are three books on the Herdmans. So well have to have you do our Halloween one.  

K: Yeah! 

A: And it’s so unfortunate that Ms. Robinson has passed.  

W: Oh, I know...she’s good. Oh, did you listen to the book too?  

K: Oh yes, I did.  

A: Oh, your mom must have an audio copy that she didn’t share with me.  

W: Well, you said the ending was the best part. When you looked at the cover of the book did you think you’d like it? 

K: I didn’t think so. 

W: You didn’t...why not? It’s kind of boring on the cover of the book, isn’t it a little bit? 

W: Why do you think they crossed off worst? 

W/A: Who is that on the cover? 

K: It’s probably Gladys.  

A: See I love the cover of the book. The cover always sells me. It’s very colorful. 

W: I love the cover too, but I think I remember showing it to my class and they weren’t interesting in it. 

A: They weren’t? 

W: No 

K: I was interested.  

W: Why do you think they crossed off worst? 

K: Because it was not meant to say that. 

W: It wasn’t meant too? 

A: I think everybody in the congregation loved this pageant… 

W: Do you think they liked it? 

A: ...because it was different than what Ms. Armstrong put on every year.  

K: Yeah! 

A: She was such a fuss-budget.  

W: Would you read that book again? 

K: No! 

W: [laughing gasp

K: But I might! 

W: You would rather read the other Herdman ones?  

K: Yeah! 

W: Do you think the movie was close to the book or different? 

K: Close to the book.  

W: You think it was close to the book? 

K: Yeah. 

A: I agree that they left a lot of stuff out. 

W: It did, but there is only so much that you can do, right? What did you think of the Herdman’s cat?  

K: It was a crazy cat! 

W: Do you like cats? 

K: Not really, I like dogs better. 

W: Same 

A: What was your favorite vocabulary word?  

W: Oh yeah! 

K: There’s a lot that I like. 

A: What about the one that reminds you of jail. 

W: What is the one that reminds you of jail? 

K: Penitentiary  

W: Oh, that is a great word. Who was in the penitentiary?  

K: Ummmm...wait...Imogene. 

W: [laughing] Imogene was in the penitentiary?  

A: I don’t think anyone’s been to the penitentiary, but they were well on their way.  

W: They were on their...what do you think will happen to the Herdmans next?  

K: When they’re older, they will go to jail. 

W: You think so?  

A: I think a couple out of the six will go to jail. I mean I was well on my way to go to the state pen until Josh saved my life.  

W: Josh, yes! 

A: She is looking at me like, who is Josh. We don’t say our husband’s name on the Podcast. 

W: They won’t let us. Isn’t that mean? Maybe you want to have a secret name. 

A: Uncle Josh says I’m trouble.  

W: Is that true? 

K: Uncle Josh is pretty. 

A: He’s got a beard right now, doesn’t he? 

W: Does he? 

K: Yeah. I think he has to shave it before it grows and grows and he’ll get Jesus hair.  

W: [laughing

A: Josh is looking a little Jesus-like. 

W: Is he really? 

K: Yeah so, he needs to kind of shave.  

W: How old do you think this book is, Kristen? 

K: Ummmmmmm 

A: I taught her how to look in the front. The copyright date.  

K: There’s a copyright.  

W: There is? 

K: Um hum… 

W: What does it say? 

K: 1972 

W: That was before I was even born. 

A: Not me! I was well on my way to heading to the penitentiary by then. Well... 

W: Yeah! Well, that was a five-star review… 

A: ... Five-star review from Kristen from Delaware. 

W: Kristen, the future newscaster.  

K: Well, I might do newscaster, or I might be a YouTuber.  

W: Well still; you’d have to be on a microphone. You’d have to be broadcasting. 

A: Did you like podcasting with us? 

K: Hmmmm, Yes! 

W: It’s kind of fun, isn’t it?  

K: I kind of want to do it again. 

W: Do you think we should do another Herdman’s one with you?  

K: Yeah! 

A: I say next Halloween we plan on this.  

K: Yeah! I’ll probably be eight that time.  

W: Eight...the best Halloween ever.  

A: Is there a best classroom ever?  

W: No, I don’t know where my phone is but there are three.  

A: I think we can do one a year featuring Kristen and let her grow with us.  

W: We could…what else do we got 

A: Need me to say... “So which sparkling cider was your favorite….” 

W: Which one was better?  

K: HMMMMMMM 

A: Number 1 or Number 2 

K: Number 1 

A: Martinelli’s 

W: The pretty gold one 

A: Yeah, the pretty gold one...not the one that smells like Herdmans feet. 

K: [laughing

W: [laughing] That is a really good description though. Smells like a cellar too kind of. 

A: Smells like Leroy Herdman’s feet.  

K: Ewww! 

W: Ewwwww! That’s disgusting 

A: Laughing 

K: I wouldn't want to drink that; there might be sweat from it. 

W: Oh gross! I think so… 

A: Well at that, we probably need to wrap this up. 

W: I think going out on a sweaty foot smell taste is a nice segue.  

A: Do we all want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas?  

K: Yes! 

A: So, on the count of three we’re going to say Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.   

W:  Ready? 

A: One, two, three…. 

W/A/K: Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! 

00:57:42 

A: We had so much fun and Kristen was such a natural! As expected, she was in top form! 

W:  She really was. We hope all of you enjoyed our guest, this wonderful story, … 

A: … and that we were on our best behavior … I don’t need any coal in my stocking!

W:  Neither do I! Be sure to check out our Instagram on Christmas Day if you want our holiday cocktail recipes.

A: Join us next year … how crazy to say that! … for a listener request, The Third Policeman by Flann O’Brien.

W:Have a happy and safe holiday from Prosecco N Prose! Cheers!

***Outro***